Tips & Tricks on how to Fail!

By: Amitabh Guha Roy

You read it absolutely right, this is not a printing mistake. By the time you would be reading this, you must have read at least 100 articles on how to become successful and rich and what not. Everyone is so obsessed with becoming successful that it has become a clich?, a term which everyone says but no one does. If I am right, this is already 2016 and being the failure is the new cool in this generation. Honestly, who bats an eye on the nerdy hardworking guy when there is a hotshot just outside the tea-stall smoking cigarettes? Who wants to work hard and be successful when you can enjoy spending your parents hard earned money? Don't you pay heed to all those caring people who encourage you to learn and work hard, because they don?t know what fun it is to party all night, Facebooking and Instagraming your fake pictures.

Studying in the best business school and also working part time during my university days, I practically ruined my chances on becoming the failure. While working hard and building my career, I missed so much time not doing Facebooking and liking my artificial pictures of my friends on Instagram that I cant even relate to the ?cool generation? now. I wouldn't want my readers to lead the same uncool life as I am leading, so why not I give you the tricks and tips which I should have followed instead.

Tip 1: Don't waste your time reading books and learning about the world, use that time in Youtubing prank videos and posting selfies. Who got time to learn about what happens in the real world when you can enjoy that time entertaining yourselves. I used to read a lot of books, it helped me to get better than the rest of my competitors as in books lies the knowledge of how to get better everyday. Eventually I got better, I even knew more than all of friends because I always used to read at least one book a day. Don't repeat the same mistake as I did, what is the point in being in the top of the generation whereas you can just lay back and sleep in the backbenches. Seriously, who would dare to miss the lovely sleep for a silly book, aye?

Tip 2: Don't plan ahead, don't organize, just pass your lovely university years, because why bother when you have your lovely parents to drag you throughout your life. I wasted a lot of time planning, on what to do next after I have passed goal because I always looked forward on making myself better everyday. Look where has it gotten me? A high paying corporate job in the biggest multinational bank in Bangladesh? Silly me, for I should have known if I hadn't planned on getting better everyday, I would now be chilling with my friends with pocket money from my parents instead of doing a 9-6 job and going around the world for business meetings.

Tip 3: Don't challenge yourself, because what you are now is the best that anyone can be. You are the best at everything, right? Personally I never thought I was any good, so I always used to work on my shortcomings and challenge myself with the very best of the industry to get even better than what I was yesterday. I starting debating when I thought I wasn?t that fluent in English, I even started my own finance consultancy firm when I thought I wasn't learning much finance in university. Taking up challenges to excel at what I do might have led me to a few trips to many countries abroad for free, but hey, playing ?angry bird? on my smartphone instead of wasting all those time would have been a better choice, right?

Tip 4: Be lazy, stay awake till 5 am for nothing because that is what a ?cool? person should do. Sleeping late is like a competition among friends, more like who gets to be more sleepy in the morning class gets to be the winner of the cool group. While my back bencher friends used to sleep during the classes whereas I used to pay attention even in the morning classes, now they still get to sleep in their beds till 11 am and I have to wake up every morning to go to my work. Keeping a proactive routine life has enabled me to start my own company, do my masters and keep doing my 6-9 job all at once, whereas my friends are still having a party by downloading movies on torrent every night and having a ohso-cool active social life staying at home. I am such a loser, sigh.

This is satirical note. Anyone who understood the tone is already smart, have already chosen the boring, working hard, uncool , road to being successful in future type of a life like me. I have no hopes for you, brother. But if you are already following all 4 tips of mine, I bet you are already amongst the coolest among your batch mates. Enjoy while it lasts because sadly, it is only lasts for four years.